You What!
by Shadow of Arashi
Summary: This is a insane idea that popped up into my mind: OOC, hentainess and craziness ahead! Also I will assume this is going on before the Chuunin exam. Now let's follow a day in the life of our favorite ninjas. Don’t mind the insanity, have a chocolate coo


Author's notes: A Naruto fanfic by me, finally! ^^ This is a totally insane idea that popped up into my demented mind, with much OOC, Hentainess and craziness ahead! Also I will assume this is going on before the Chuunin exam. Don't mind the insanity, have a chocolate cookie and enjoy! ^_~

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the fic and a Kakashi plushie, so don't bother. 

Warning: OOC, insanity, humor, yaoi, some hentai comments and insinuation and basically almost everyone being after Kakashi sensei at one point or another. What is the world coming to?!

You What?!

by Shadow of Arashi

"It's quiet."

"Hn.."

"It's quiet."

"Hn."

"It's too quiet!"

"I don't know what you are complaining about. We finally have a day of rest and you just keep moaning and mopping Naruto. What's wrong with you?!"

"It's because it's too quiet. Come oooooooon Sasuke! I need something or someone to keep me busy!"

*_sighs_* 

"You are hopeless…"

*_grins_* 

"I know."

"Well then let's go and find Sakura. Maybe she can keep you occupied and out of my sight."

"Oh come on you know you love me that way Sasuke!"

"Nani?! Why you…"

Sasuke jumped on his feet from his spot on the soft ground, intending on hitting Naruto till the hyper active boy begged for mercy but was a second too late. If the cloud Naruto had left behind him was any indication.

The dark hair boy let out a long suffering sigh, and having nothing better to do, decided to follow Naruto. Just to keep him out of trouble.

It took him one hour to found Naruto, who was fooling around as usual. All it took was one good whack on the head to get the blonde's attention back on his fellow genin.

"Hey! What did you do that for?!"

"To keep you in line, you baka. Now let's find Sakura."

"And Kakashi sensei too! He promised to teach us a new fighting move today! Yesterday's class with rope binding was cool but I still want more!"

"…Whatever."

Naruto just laughed and ran off again, leaving a furious Sasuke to run after him again. But they didn't go very far this time, as they ran into Iruka sensei on the way.

Literally.

Books went flying everywhere as Naruto crashed into the unexpected teacher, resulting in them both ending flat on the ground, either holding their head or moaning in pain. 

Sasuke groaned in annoyance and dropped his head in his hands as well, but for another reason altogether. Naruto was going to be the death of him, he swore.

The blond shook his head twice before managing to get some coherence back, and grinned sheepishly at his confused teacher. He then promptly got up and gave a hand to Iruka, who gratefully accepted. 

"Ah, sorry sensei! I didn't saw you."

"Well well, what got you so work up you didn't see me Naruto?"

"I'm looking for Sakura and Kakashi sensei!"

"Then come with me, I'm going to see the other jounins and I'm sure Kakashi will be there. And even if he isn't, we can always look for him together. Sakura may be there too."

"Thank you Iruka sensei! You heard that Sasuke? We know where we can find them now!"

Sasuke shrugged and advanced toward Iruka, showing he understood. The teacher smiled at them and after picking up all his books from the ground, walked toward their destination, the two boys following behind him.

When they finally arrived, Iruka and the boys processed to find the meeting room. As they walked down the long corridor, a noise suddenly alerted them. They all stopped, listening and the noise was soon identified to be voices. 

Familiar sounding voices. 

And it was coming from one of the nearby rooms.

Curious, Naruto couldn't help but eavesdropping on the conversation held behind the door and glued himself to it, despite all the efforts of Sasuke and Iruka to make him stop. But then what they all heard just made their jaws dropped on the floor. 

"Oh come on Kakashi sensei! Pleaaaaaaaaase?"

"I don't know Sakura… is that very wise?"

"But we already started! We have done half of it anyway, it would be pointless to stop now."

"I guess you're right. And if it make you happy…"

"You have no idea how much Kakashi sensei! I need it or I will go insane! It has been so long too… And I really couldn't ask anyone else for this."

"I can see why." *_laughs_*

"Glad to see you are seeing things my way. Now get those off already! We need skin to skin contact."

*_shuffle of clothing, then quiet moaning is heard_*

"It's cold Sakura!"

"It's either that or it will never go away later when you take it off."

"The things you made me do really..."

"Oh come on sensei, you are enjoying this as much as I do!"

*_nothing, then giggles_*

"It tickles Sakura!" 

*_more laughing, then quiet moaning again_*

Iruka, Sasuke and Naruto listened to all of it, eyes wide in shock and silent horror. Then, as expected, Naruto blew up.

"WHAT THE HELL?! What does Kakashi thinks he is doing?!"

"This is wrong… so very wrong…"

Mumbled a dazed, wide eyes Iruka, looking very much like he was going to pass out. Sasuke stayed silent, but his equally wide eyes spoke volume of the trauma he was going through. 

Naruto decided then he had had enough and promptly kicked the door opened, intend on saving Sakura from his evil teacher.

But as soon as he entered the room, despite Iruka's and Sasuke's protest, his eyes almost pop out of his head and his jaw really did hit the ground. 

Upon seeing Naruto's state, Iruka and Sasuke fearfully approached the boy, and meekly peered into the room as well.

Only to end in the same state as Naruto.

For the scene that greeted then wasn't what they were expecting.

Not at all.

What they saw was Sakura sitting on the legs of a very much-clothed Kakashi, holding the ninja's hands in front of her in one hand and was currently painting his nails with a silver nail polish with the other.

The grey haired jounin's gloves were laying next to him, forgotten. A bottle of liquid was standing next to it and you could make out the words "For Nail Polish" on the side. You can guess the rest.

The boys were speechless.

"What… the hell is going on here?"

Naruto managed to spit out, eyes still glued to the forms of his teacher and secret crush. Sakura blinked at them, while Kakashi's eye just turn into its familiar happy curve as he waved at them cheerfully with his now free hand.

"Hi everyone! How are you doing?"

"Hi Naruto, Iruka sensei, Sasuke-kun! *_blushs_* I'm painting Kakashi's sensei nails, see? Isn't it neat? I knew silver was his color!"

The boys stared at each other, then at Kakashi, then at Sakura and at each other again.

"Painting his nails…"

Came the one voice answer from the three ninja, who were looking ready to drop dead at any moment.

"Yes! I was desperate to try this new stuff and get some "practice" to put it on me but since Ino and I are rivals now… well I couldn't ask her or anyone else to help me with it. So I asked Kakashi sensei who very nicely accept to help me! Isn't it great?!"

Sakura beamed, practically shinning with pride. Kakashi just chuckled, but now you could see a little sweatdrop on the side of his head.

Naruto, Sasuke and Iruka just stared some more. Until a startled exclamation made them jump out of their trance like state.

"Holy shit! What the hell happened to you Kakashi?!"

And as one man, everyone turn to see the newest addition to this insanity, the speaker being Gai. Next to him was Asuma, Ibiki, Kurenai, Anko and Ebisu, all of them wearing the same expression of total shock on their face. 

When or how they arrived is still a mystery. Well no, it's obvious that Naruto's yelling had alerted them but this is another story.

"I'm painting his nails!"

Sakura cried, pouting. Kakashi sweatdropped some more and ran his one dried hand through his hair.

"Well Sakura was so insistent about it… Through I would never have believed I would end up having my nails painted by one of my students."

The silver haired jounin declared, his one visible eye still doing its happy curve. Sakura just pouted some more, until she felt someone lightly shaking her shoulder. When she turned her head, she was quite surprised to see who was next to her.

"Naruto?"

"Ne, Sakura…"

"What?"

"You like nail polish right?"

"Yes, why?"

"Is it fun?"

"?? Well yes, why?"

"Then, do you have orange nail polish?"

Naruto blurted out with a sheepish grin, making Sakura's eyes widen. Until she let out a squeal of pleasure and jumped on the poor Naruto, ready to paint his nail orange, or whatever color she would happen to find in the next five second.

Everyone else sweatdropped at the duo. Especially Kakashi who pitied Naruto, knowing first hand how much patience you need to have your nails done. (A/N: I should know! _)

Sasuke just rolled his eyes, before going back to star at his teacher. 

Gai watched the two from his spot, a grin suddenly spreading on his face. Nobody noticed when he disappeared in a small cloud of smoke.

_/It's true that silver is his color. Sakura found the same shade as his hair too…/_

The black haired boy thought absently, not noticing he was now smiling. Yes, smiling. Until a voice broke him out of his daydreaming.

"Sasuke, why are you starring at me like that?"

Asked a puzzled Kakashi, who had just became aware of Sasuke's staring. The genin shook his head and looked away, preventing his teacher from seeing the faint blush now gracing his cheeks. 

"Nothing."

"Ah, if you say so. Well I will be on my way now, since Sakura is done with me and has found a new playmate."

Kakashi answered as he jumped to his feet, putting his hand in his pockets and happy to leave. But someone had other plans.

"Wait a minute Kakashi, all this playing dress up fun just give me a wonderful idea."

A smirking voice (if that can be) stopped the silver haired man. Kakashi froze on the spot, a feeling of dread running through his spine as he slowly turned around.

Only to came face to face with a grinning Gai. When he came back is left for anyone to found out.

"Look at what I found for you Kakashi!"

Gai exclaimed gleefully as he held something in front of Kakashi, whom eye widen to comical proportion when the teacher identified say things Kakashi look ready to faint, his mouth falling opened in silent horror even under his mask.

And with good reasons.

For Gai was holding in his hands a lavender colored kimono. 

A lavender colored _woman_ kimono.

And pale, pink _lipstick_.

"I'm sure it will go wonderfully with your nail polish."

Gai smirked, an evil glint in his eyes.

Everyone's jaws hit the floor.

Kakashi just stared some more, before letting out a small squeal, then turned on his heels in a second and started running like a scared bat out of hell.

"Oh no you don't!"

Gai yelled as he chased after Kakashi, obviously taking a sadistic pleasure in doing so.

Everyone else's jaws hit the floor again as they watched, wide eyes, Gai chasing Kakashi around. A few minutes and a few crash and broken furniture later, they all heard the victim last's cry, identifying Gai as the victor. 

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!!! Err…?! Hey what are you doing?!! NONONONONO!! PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT GAI!!!"

Major sweatdropping occurred then, as the poor Kakashi's cry still echoed for a few second. But for Anko and Kurenai, who looked deeply disturbed

"Do you think we should help him?"

Iruka asked shyly, still shocked over the whole thing.

"No, it's way too funny to stop it. Beside I want to see what Kakashi will look like after this."

Ibiki stated, shutting everyone's protest and earning some strange looks as well.

Half a hour later, everyone was sitting in the meeting room and waiting anxiously for Kakashi and Gai to show up. Only Sakura seems to be unaffected, as she has taken to paint an oblivious Naruto's nails (she didn't have the time to finish) in a nice orange.

Other than that, the atmosphere was tense, to say the least.

Anko and Kurenai were speaking lowly to each other, throwing wary glanced toward the door from time to time. Asuma was smoking (big surprise); Ebisu was red and looking creep out by the whole thing (but his colleagues knew better), Iruka was still blushing and visibly trying to disappear while Ibiki was just leaning against the wall, staring at the door. Naruto and Sasuke were trying to look uninterested in their corner, and were failing badly.

They were starting to get really fidgety when suddenly, all hell broke lose.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI!!!! HOW COULD YOU?!"

This was their only warning before they saw the door being thrown opened violently, a blur of green running then past them at the speed of greased lighting barely a second later. The dark hair was their only clue as the identity of the green blur.

When they get over the initial shock and saw who was still standing by the door, it was the last straw.

Sakura, Anko and Kurenai fainted on the spot, Ebisu soon followed with a waterfall for a nosebleed, Asuma lost his cigarette as his eyes almost popped out of his head, Ibiki drooled (yes, drool) and Iruka just follow Ebisu in getting one hell of a nosebleed before falling on his knees.

Only Naruto and Sasuke were still somehow coherent, but were way too busy staring at their teacher with wide, hungry eyes to notice. One could almost see the wheels in their head running full speed as they keep starring.

As Kakashi was now quite a sight to see indeed.

For the jounin was wearing the lavender kimono, which surprisingly fit his lanky body very well. His silvery hair was now down and brushed to fell in gentle, elegant waves across his face, unlike his usual messy spiky style. 

And more over, the ice on the cake, the mask and forehead protector were gone.

Gone, leaving Kakashi's face totally exposed and showing a very handsome, very hot young man with a bit of pale, pink lipstick on his lips, pale skin and wide eyes burning with vengeance. 

Unfortunately for him the murderous look lost all its effectiveness with the prettiness of it's owner. 

Not that Kakashi seems to noticed.

But he did noticed when he saw everyone gapping at him like a piece of rare chocolate. 

Or tasty meat.

Kakashi wisely decided not to ask, and rather concentrate on finding his tormentor and narrowed his eyes.

"Where is Gai?"

Silence.

Kakashi started to sweatdrop then, when Naruto and Sasuke seem to both snap out of their trance. Before the jounin could speak or move, both boys were at his side, looking at their teacher with wide smiles on their innocent face.

Kakashi almost jumped back in fright.

"I know where he went! He ran that way! *_points to where Gai disappear_* We can help you to find him if you want Kakashi sensei!"

Naruto exclaimed in that enthusiastic way of him and Sasuke nodded. Kakashi seemed puzzled for a minute, then decided that the boys were acting normal (compared to the rest that is) and agreed.

"Alright, let's go then. I want revenge for this one."

The silver haired man announced, and his students could see his eyes glittering with an evil, amused light. Both genins grinned to each other. They knew their teacher was too cool to stay mad very long. Their plan could now begin.

Unfortunately for Kakashi, he didn't noticed the way his students were grinning behind his back, or else he would have ran away as fast as he could before the end of the evening.

****

The next morning… 

Asuma was nursing his cigarette, a drink in one hand as he listened to his fellow jounins. 

To one who did not know them, everything looks pretty normal. But that Asuma knew that obviously, some of his colleagues still hadn't get over the shock of yesterday. Some signs didn't lie.

Iruka was still blushing, Ebisu was turning red whenever anyone mentioned Kakashi, Kurenai and Anko were now giggling like crazy (they seems to think that, after all, Kakashi looks pretty good in a woman's kimono) and Gai had yet to show up. But this was to be expected. 

The teacher must be licking his wounds somewhere and will come out of hiding when it fit him.

They had to give up teaching for the day, as after the "nail polish incident", as Ibiki put it, none of them could stay serious and concentrate without bursting into hysterical laughers, nose bleed and the like.

Asuma even suspect that Anko gave her students quite a fright with her giggling.

"Do you think we will see Kakashi today?"

Asuma suddenly asked, and almost snickered at the reactions he got. But before anyone could answered, the meeting room's door was throw opened, leaving place to their fellow jounin, none other than Kakashi. 

A Kakashi back to his normal clothes and hairstyle.

"Good morning everyone."

Kakashi greeted in a flat, tired sounding voice that made Asuma ticked. 

Upon closer inspection the dark haired jounin noticed that Kakashi was moving slower than usual, almost limping and that he refused to sit down. Asuma even swore he saw Kakashi flinching at the sight of the chairs.

"Oi Kakashi, you alright? You seem weird this morning. What happened to you?"

The silver haired man just looked at him for a full second in silence, his eyes turning serious before letting out a long suffering sigh.

"One thing: Don't **ever** let your students get close to you in a 5 miles radius when you are in a kimono while your students have rope and have just learn how to use it. You will only end up screw over. Literally."

A lone cigarette fell on the floor, forgotten as major nosebleed, fainting and screams follow this sentence.

Somewhere, Naruto and Sasuke both grinned in their blissful sleep as they lay in a large, tousled futon, bodies pressed together. Clothes and toys were scattered around the room. 

A lavender kimono, ropes and a bottle of oil could be seen among those.

OWARI

Shadow: O.O ………….. My first try at Naruto humor and this is how it turn out…

Kakashi: O_o That was… interesting… ^^;;;;

Naruto and Sasuke: ^________^

Shadow: You boys are naughty hentai, doing that to your teacher! At least for once it wasn't the students being molested but the sensei… Poor Kakashi, I feel ashamed! Gomen Kakashi! I still love you! ;_;

Naruto: *glued to Kakashi's neck* Don't be!

Kakashi: ^^;;; Yare yare….

Shadow: You say it... Please people don't kill me, I try my best at staying in character and all but humor is not my best style. The idea sounded pretty good when it popped it into my head but I don't know what it's worth now it's written. Please be kind? -_-;;;; I'm ashamed…


End file.
